This is the story of a friend of mine… a very close friend that I care a lot about.
She was the most innocent person you can imagine; she was sneaky and mischievous in her own way. All the trouble she got herself into was based on her innocence, and she had fun, people forgave her. She was strong, passionate about everything, a perfectionist in her own way, and cared about no one yet cared about everyone.
At some point in her life she thought she fell in love with someone very close to her. That person ended up hurting her. It took her a long time to get through it, and she did. It took her a year of suffering and darkness. It might sound dramatic but for someone to get hurt at a very young age is not something anyone would want to go through and especially by the person that became the center of that someone’s life.
She changed her life, and became a better person. A better person from who she was before the dark-phase she went through. As for that part of her life, she buried it deep within her. She left one picture of that person to remind herself, when she falls, that nothing could possibly hurt her more than that person. That picture was her strength. It was her striving force.
She lived for herself, her family, and her friends. 2 years later, she made the same mistake of falling for someone, this time it was the right person who was wrong in all possible ways. She was happy, and it was too good to be true. Sadly, she had to walk away a day before a year passes from finding this person. Decisions had to be made. Hearts had to be broken. Something’s just had to be done, and the stronger had to take action.
She has lost hope in matters of the heart. She just wanted to be happy. She was happy; she had everything.
She just didn’t have someone to share it with.
She didn’t want anything; she just wanted someone.
Someone to talk to,
Someone to be there for her,
Someone who supports her,
Someone who cares
She started believing that love doesn’t exist.
She numbed her heart so she wouldn’t feel anymore, and it worked. Her heart felt nothing most of the time, the rest of the time it was occupied by loving her family and friends.
I have seen her fall and get up again. I have seen her making the same mistakes in different ways over and over again. I have seen her freeze her heart and make the ice melt again. I have seen her throw it away and step on it herself. I have seen her kill her heart so she wouldn’t feel anymore.
I have seen her bring it back to life and cherish it on her own… I have seen her build a cage around her heart, letting it see the outside world but not moving from its place.
Today, she is strong again. No. She’s stronger than ever. She’s focused, her heart flies outside its cage and comes back again safely without getting hurt. She learned to fly solo. She learned to fly fast.
Today, she works to make her other friends happy. Especially a certain friend by giving her what she never had. She’s trying to give her someone that will cherish her and adore her. But she wont let her friend make the same mistakes as she did; she’s going make sure this happens right. No heart breaks. No lies. She plans on giving her something honest and true, something that is real and serious; something that’s not a game.
She told me this a while back. She also told me that she stopped searching; she stopped looking for that someone. She’s now just waiting for the right person to come along, as she makes sure her friends are happy. She’s now focusing on her life, her future, and her dreams.
5 years have passed since her first fall, and since then she fell many times.
She had her time to make mistakes and learned from them, with no regrets.
She grew from a girl to a young lady from her mistakes.
From a child to a mature adult
This is for you.
Stay strong.
Yours truly,
Fatma Bujsaim
Fatma Bujsaim 